Help Them Hear It

Negative is normal. Hurtful, dismissive speech comes naturally. It takes a real desire—and the power of the Holy Spirit—to begin to change our hearts so that the words that come out of our mouths are helpful, encouraging, truthful and loving. 

In fact, negative is so normal that many of us—and maybe especially students—don’t notice when our words go dark or hurtful. This little exercise is meant to help them (and us) see that. 

At the beginning of your group time, ask your students if they would be okay with your making an audio recording of your time together for a project you’re working on for another time. If anyone objects, just skip it this week. The goal is not to be sneaky. 

At a later time, listen to the recording and write down exactly any statements or exchanges you hear that are especially negative OR encouraging, especially hurtful OR kind. You don’t need to pay attention to who said what. Just make a list of the statements. 

Then, at a future group time—maybe even months and months later—spend some time talking about the power of words. Use passages from Proverbs about words or the tongue. Other verses to consider are Luke 6:45, Ephesians 4:29, or James 3:1-12. 

At some point in your discussion, read the list of negative and positive statements, making a point not to identify who said which ones. (In fact, be sure to remove any identifying information and avoid putting any one student on the spot.) Encourage your group to think about the potential impact of these words. 

What we’re hoping is that maybe our students will hear themselves and each other in a new light when comparing the teaching of Scripture with their own speech. 

If you do try this, let us know how it goes.