Criticism in Youth Ministry

Criticism in youth ministry is a touchy subject especially for those who are just getting started. Some of the older veterans have learned how to manage criticism in youth ministry, but there are no doubt going to be times when those emails or that mysterious handwritten anonymous note on your desk just gets to you and crawls under your skin.

As people, we often don’t like to be critiqued. Especially in the areas where we are pouring more than just our time but our passion, sweat, and sometimes blood. However, if you’re hoping that criticism will simply go away in youth ministry… Ha! You might want to think about doing something else. It comes with the landscape. I have never met a youth leader who did not get a good dose of criticism somewhere along the way. However, the youth leaders that tend to thrive are the youth leaders who can find a way to take the information that the critic wants to express and use it to make the ministry better.

How? Here are some helpful tips to consider.

1. Listen! Some of the best advice an older pastor gave me was that there’s a time and a place for talking and another time for listening. So when you’re in the room, close your mouth and open your ears. Use all your energy to listen to what the critic is saying. Learning how to listen is an important skill to master. Listening is not just getting hit with information, but it’s more like an archeologist. You’re sifting through all the dirt, rocks, and things that don’t matter in order to get the treasure. Your critics have something to say and it’s your job to patiently sift through everything they are communicating in order to find the treasure. Be an excellent listener.

2. Talk over a meal – The business world does this with a client who is on the fence or with a customer who is thinking about walking away. A meal or a warm cup of coffee has a powerful ability to amplify the conversation. Use the change in environment or the smell of bacon (you can never go wrong with bacon) and eggs to show the person that you care about what they are saying and that you want to listen to what they have to say. (Note: Make sure if you invite that you pay as well!)

3. Ask them for their help- Most of the time our critics see something that we cannot. It’s almost like they can see our ministry in another spectrum of light. That’s often why we respond so defensively. It’s because we cannot see what they see. So we tend to get frustrated. If they can see a genuine issue with the ministry then partner with them. Bring them onboard. It’s important for your development as a leader that you surround yourself with people who can see problems that you cannot see and people who also disagree with you. If your leadership team is only a group of agreeable people that like you then it’s time to change up your ministry team. Surround yourself with people who will make your ministry better.

Don’t run or hide from criticism. Engage it. Learn how to listen and ask people for help. It will make all the difference in not only your life but in the lives of the students you reach as well.