Are Your Sure You Want to Say That?

You may not have noticed, but students sometimes say terribly mean things to each other. Online, it’s even worse. A student who wouldn’t dream of telling someone to “go kill yourself” in person may, in the heat of the moment, not think twice about it.

And that, of course, is the problem. Students don’t always think twice. They may think once, barely, and hit send.

Proverbs warns us: “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Prov. 29:20) And, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Prov. 10:19) And even more pointedly, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Prov. 12:18)

Those would be great verses to share if you mention this news story or watch Prabhu’s Ted Talk together:

Trisha Prabhu is a 15-year-old student from Naperville, IL, who earned recognition from Google, Coke, and the White House for a software program she developed called ReThink. It’s simple, really: Anytime it detects common online bullying phrases, a pop-up window appears asking, “Are your sure you want to do that?”

Deeply affected by reports of students killing themselves after being cyber-bullied, Prabhu started looking for answers. One bit of meaningful research resonated with her: Teenagers are 40 percent more likely to type hurtful words to others than older students or adults. She felt that was due, in part, to less developed self-control mechanisms in younger brains. (We might also point to a lack of wisdom.)

Prabhu felt that if she could find a way to slow her peers down before they hit send, she might be able to help decrease the number of hurtful messages sent. And, it turns out, she was right. A study of her software revealed that, when forced to think about it for those few seconds, 93 percent choose to delete or change a hurtful comment instead of sending it! That’s a huge number!

Whether or not your students ever use Prabhu’s software, they can learn the wisdom skill of re-thinking every post before they hit send, especially if they’re angry (or hungry or even just goofing around). You don’t have to be a bully to be needlessly hurtful. And wisdom tells us that, especially in the power of the Holy Spirit, we don’t have to be needlessly hurtful, at all.