3 Small Group Facilitation Helps for Youth Ministry

I remember my very first experience as a small group leader. I had five students. We met in the basement of a very old church. The room we met in had that old church mildew smell. The furniture was from the Carter administration. We had a stack of Bibles, some Bic pens, and a notepad. We arranged our ridiculously heavy furniture in a circular formation. I had two tombstone pizzas in the oven. Yes, we had a small kitchenette in the room. I’m pretty sure I was scared that the entre apparatus was going to burst into flames. The bell dinged. The students arrived. We ate pizza and had our Kool-aid and that’s when things went horribly wrong.

As soon as I pulled out my Bible the entire group shut down. It was like I was speaking another language. The lure of pizza had worn off its charm. We read scripture. Painfully. I asked some questions and could only hear the sound of crickets chirping. I began to answer my own questions and realized that I was holding a conversation with just myself. Nobody talked. Nobody said a word. I began to get frustrated. Once the students sensed my frustration they clammed up even more. I ended the small group early that night because it was so painful that I couldn’t do it anymore. To top off the evening one of the students on the way out said, “I had a really good time! Are we meeting next week?” ARE YOU SERIOUS? All you did was eat pizza and hear me talk to myself. How on earth could it ever be good?

I went home that night discouraged and frustrated. I also learned that in order to be a small group leader I’m going to need a new set of tactics and skills. Being a small group leader isn’t about being a grunt. It’s more like being a Special Forces operator in the lives of our students. As I wrote the Trek 1: His Story Leader Guide for middle school I wanted to pass along some of those skills to the lives of our small group leaders. Here are three of my favorites that I hope will help make a difference in the lives of your students and small groups this coming week.

1. Priming the Pump — If you have an older lawn mover, weed wacker, or snowblower, you probably need to prime the pump. There is a little red button that injects fuel into the engine so that it can turn over when you go to pull the cord. Sometimes our students need their engines or their brains to be primed. You might want to think about injecting one or two questions into their minds before you meet for group. If your students are plugged into technology, send them a text message that includes one of the questions. If they are on social media, then message them one or two questions to get their brains thinking about it while they are away from the group. Putting many of these pump primes into their heads gives them more time to digest and prepare to have a good discussion.
2. Ready to Talk — Sometimes no matter how much you prepare and no matter how ready you think you are to have a discussion it just might not be happening. While you want to protect your discussion time, you cannot force students to dive deep into discussion if they are just not ready. If you have rambunctious group, go to the gym and play a few games of basketball. Burn some energy. Sometimes you might just need to postpone a group discussion until they have had time to chew on the information for a bit longer. Learn how to read your students. A good discussion group leader knows his or her students and should get a sense of when a discussion is good to have and when one needs to be tabled for later.
3. I Could Care Less — Maybe you have a couple of students who couldn’t care less to be in your discussion group. They sit, talk to their fiends, and can be more a distraction than a help at times. Find ways of bringing them into the discussion at the beginning rather than ignoring them or just condemning their behavior. It might also be a good idea to spend some time with these students outside of the group to find out what’s going on in their lives. This will mean you’ll need to go the extra mile with them, but in the end you’ll find the reward for the time invested might just make all the difference in your relationship. Don’t discount the kids that give the impression that they could care less. In the end, they may turn out to be your best students.